The Myth of Either/Or: We've Been Lied to About Life Choices

Let’s talk about one of life’s most insidious little lies: the idea you can only ever have 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 or 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. Like, where did this rule come from, and who gave it permission to run our lives? This morning, during our 5am Club call with the overachievers of the world, Sharran touched on this very concept. And for the first time in a long time, something at 5am (rally 6am my time) kind of blew my mind. 🤯

 

Here’s the setup: Society teaches us life is a series of binary choices. Stay up late binge-watching your favorite show or get a solid eight hours of sleep.

 

Have the chocolate cake or maintain your 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 physique. Splurge on the shoes OR the purse, but definitely not both, because that would be 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦.

 

But what if we’ve been playing the game wrong this whole time? What if the rules aren’t real, and we can rewrite them entirely?

 

Sharran (our call host and, in my opinion, one of the most philosophical thinkers in our industry) shared a moment with his daughter that hit me right in the existential feels. He asked her, “Do you want ice cream or a donut?” Her answer? A matter-of-fact “both.” No hesitation. No angst over the decision. Just pure, unfiltered logic: Why not both?

 

The idea of "both" feels radical because we’ve been conditioned to believe sacrifices are mandatory. Want more money? Well, then, say goodbye to free time. Want a successful career? Your relationships might take a hit. It’s always framed as a trade-off.

 

But here’s the truth: Life is not a zero-sum game. Sure, you can’t have it all 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺. But if you’re intentional, creative, and willing to challenge the norms, you can build a life where the “ands” outweigh the “ors.”

 

𝟭. 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀
Start by asking, “Who says I can’t have both?” Most of the time, the limitations are self-imposed or come from outdated systems. Once you question the premise, you can start designing alternatives.

 

𝟮. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘇𝗲
Let’s say you want more money AND more free time. Traditional thinking says you’ll need to work harder (less time) to earn more (more money). But what about leveraging passive income, automating tasks, or creating a business model that prioritizes flexibility?

 

𝟯. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴-𝗧𝗲𝗿𝗺
Having it all doesn’t mean having it all 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸. It’s about setting the foundation for a life that supports multiple priorities. Sometimes it means focusing on one area first to create the space for others later.

 

𝟰. 𝗥𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 “𝗛𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝘁 𝗔𝗹𝗹” 𝗠𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀
Spoiler alert: “all” looks different for everyone. Maybe for you, it’s not about more stuff, but deeper relationships and personal growth. The trick is defining your “all” and cutting out the noise of what everyone else says it 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 be.

 

- 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽 + 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗙𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄: Set a hard limit on episodes and ditch the guilt. Or, if you’re feeling really wild, save the show for weekends and reclaim your weekdays for rest.

- 𝗙𝗶𝘁𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 + 𝗙𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺: Intuitive eating and joyful movement are proof you can love cake and love your body without it being a war.

- 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 + 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆: Remote work, entrepreneurial ventures, or even just better boundary setting can create the space for both.

 

The truth is, life is full of nuance. Most of the time, “either/or” is a lazy way of avoiding complexity. But...You are capable of designing a life that’s rich, fulfilling, and packed with your own version of “both.”

 

The only real choice here is whether you want to keep playing by the old rules - or start making your own.

 

So, what’s it going to be? Ice cream, a donut, or both?

 

(Don’t worry, I already know your answer...and this will be the last time I limit myself and pass on that ice cream.)