It just shows up - uninvited, unnervingly casual, and way too close for comfort.
Literally!!
I was sitting on a cabin deck with some of my oldest and dearest friends this past weekend - laughing, catching up, enjoying the quite serenity of the Smoky Mountains - then this guy walked right on up behind us.
He wasn't a massive bear. Maybe 200 pounds?
He wasn't growling. He wasn't charging.
He just...showed up. He was curious. He was gentle.
He acted like he was part of our crew.
And then he drank our cocktails (I'm still a bit growly about that).
It was adorable, but at the same time - "What the hell, Dude?!"
Then it dawned on me - THIS is a metaphor for mid-life!
It doesn't feel like a crisis. It feels like something that just wanders in, like it belongs, acting natural while your temperature spikes and you're wondering how the hell to respond. It's not always dramatic. It's not always loud. It IS deeply unsettling in a way you didn't see coming.
This stage may seem like something everyone "goes through," like it's just another part of life. But I'm here to tell you, once you're in it, you realize no one actually prepped you for this stage.
The changing bodies.
The complicated kids.
The career crossroads.
The relationship recalibrations.
The creeping sense that you're running out of time to start over, but still too far from the finish line to relax.
Mid-life is one long identify renovation.
Nothing is where you left it, you're constantly stepping on your own feet, and it can be hard to know which way to turn.
We are watching our children stretch toward adulthood, while we try not to lose ourselves in the process. We are working in industries that are constantly asking more and delivering less. For us in real estate, every transaction takes longer, costs more (time/energy/money), and leaves us wondering if anyone remembers how to answer a phone or commit to anything reasonable.
Still - we are here holding it all together.
The clients. The relationships. The group texts with friends who remind us we're not insane (at least not alone in our insanity).
We are strong. But we are TIRED.
Not only physically, but existentially.
We've spent years doing the things adults are supposed to do - cheering at awkward choir concerts, awkwardly talking to teachers at parent-teacher conferences, navigating our own emotions while raising small humans into semi-functional big ones.
Now we find ourselves in this bizarre in-between.
Not brand new but not done yet.
We are navigating our path, armed with enough knowledge and experience to have a whole lot of questions and concerns.
We are watching our friends start new lives, new careers, new families.
We are watching our bodies change without permission.
We are watching ourselves care more about peace than performance.
We are watching our priorities simplify and our patience shrink.
We are not the people we were ten years ago.
We party less and stretch more.
We save more and shop less.
We say "no" without unbearable guilt or FOMO.
We feel more and apologize less.
We've swapped urgency for intention, and sometimes, confidence for clarity.
We have less tolerance for nonsense, but more empathy.
We've stopped asking ourselves "What will people think?" and started asking "How will people feel?"
And yet, we are still learning.
We are still winging it.
There are days we wonder if we are doing anything right.
There are days we feel stuck between what was and what's next.
There are days we fantasize about escape, reinvention, or even just a nap where nobody needs anything.
We are still craving reassurance that we are not falling behind, even if it sometimes feels like everyone else is either thriving or retiring.
Here is what I know:
Mid-life is NOT a detour.
Mid-life is the road!
It is messy, winding, unpredictable, and everything in between - but it is ours.
It's a mix of gratitude and grief. Of knowing better and still not being quite sure. Of not postponing peace for some magical "when..." to start living...REALLY living.
Because when you finally get to that next goal, next season, next chapter...all you really get is a later version of yourself with a new set of questions and goals.
Soooo friends, this is it. This is the middle. The wild, beautiful, messy, and often hilarious middle. It's when you're strong and soft, wise and lost, steady and still searching.
I'm here to tell you, you've got this! From this moment forward, think of it as the "magnificent middle" and be careful as to not wish your life away, eager to get "through it" or anxious for what comes next.
Also, if a bear shows up on your porch uninvited but looking like he belongs - offer him a seat, protect your cocktail (I cannot stress this enough), take a deep breath, and enjoy the experience.
This is life. And life is still pretty damn good...even in the middle. 
